Coastal Senior is a Georgia monthly periodical covering the South Carolina and Georgia low country. Bob Mason is its legal columnist.
Elder abuse comes in many forms. Physical, emotional and sexual abuse immediately come to mind. So do neglect or abandonment. They’re all too common and sad. They’re also illegal.
So is financial abuse.
Because financial abuse is becoming more common, and may become more common with a deteriorating economy, this will be the first of a two part look at the issue.
Elder abuse occurs more in private homes than in nursing homes, and it is usually subtle. Exploitation can pass unnoticed for a long time and doesn’t have any overt signs like physical abuse.
Warning Signs
Exploitation can pass unnoticed for a long time and can be quite subtle. Family, friends, therapists, bankers and counselors (including lawyers) should look for:
- Sudden changes in behavior – of either the possible victim or the suspected exploiter.
- Someone continuously “running interference” for the victim.
- Complaints from the victim that someone is taking advantage of him or her.
- A close relationship with someone new in the victim’s life. For example, a sales person calls to “say hello” everyday. Or, an unusual person drops by every day to give the victim a ride to the bank (suspicious bankers have thwarted their share of abusive cases by alerting management).
- A sudden infatuation – perhaps a female caregiver has suggested a romantic relationship with Dad.
- Perhaps a daughter who hasn’t been seen in years appears without invitation, and shows a strong interest in the victim’s money or possessions.
- Mom’s home environment changes drastically; favorite possessions start disappearing; Mom is short on food, medicine or heat although she has sufficient funds to pay for them; her house looks neglected although she has money for repairs.
- Alternatively, the victim is getting more home services than are necessary, or someone convinces her to make unnecessary, costly home repairs.
And the list goes on. The important thing is not to ignore the problem. Mom (or Dad or the Customer or the Neighbor) deserves better.
Why?
Greed. An elderly person can have assets, be vulnerable, lonely, insecure. . . and very easy to isolate. And, of course, what goes on in the home is tough to spot.
More subtle, however, and perhaps more troubling, is the caregiver with a sense of entitlement (and an inflated sense of their own worth as a caregiver). Long nurtured resentment and anger driving the exploitation (after all, exploitation can be “great revenge”).
What Can Be Done?
Victims are reluctant to report abuse or ask for help. Also, it can be hard for an outsider to know that it is happening; family members, neighbors, friends, clergy need to be on their toes. Communication is key, both with the elder and with other family members.
Ask! If you don’t like the answers you are getting and continue to “feel buy acomplia funny” look for help. If you are not sure what to do, read next month’s column for some practical steps to take.
